First things first, what is a favicon you ask? A favicon is the small icon you see in the URL field of your browser when visiting a website. If you bookmark a website, you’ll also see the favicon when looking through your bookmarks. If you look up into your URL field right now, you’ll  see that the favicon for Looble is Tux the penguin!

Favicons are awesome!

I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of favicons while browsing the internet… Favicons rock, they allow for better site branding and give an appearance of professionalism. However, have you ever seen an animated favicon? That is to say, have you ever seen one that shows a moving image? They are rare, but actually quite easy to make!

How do I add a favicon to my website?

To add a favicon to your website, all you need to do is create an icon named favicon.ico and put it in the root directory of your website. It will then automatically show up for all users visiting your site! Pretty simple.

How do I create a favicon.ico file?

For more advanced users, you can draw it in Photoshop or Gimp.  I recommend using Gimp since it is a free open source tool! Make sure you save the image in .ico format (this requires downloading a plugin for Photoshop). Alternatively, you can save the image as favicon.gif, then rename the file to favicon.ico and it will still work in all browsers I have tested (Internet Explorer & Firefox). Please note, for your favicon to work, it must be exactly 16×16 pixels.

For beginners, rather than create an image, you can use an existing image. I’m a beginner, so I decided to use a picture of Tux the penguin. Generating a favicon from an image file is very easy. HTML-kit.com offers a great tool which will let you choose an image file on your computer and have it converted into a favicon. You can also input your Twitter account and it will turn your profile picture in a favicon! That’s what I did. If you go visit my Twitter page, you’ll see Tux the penguin is my profile picture!

Once you have your favicon file, upload it to your server in your root directory.

How do I make my favicon animated?

For advanced users, use Photoshop or Gimp to create an animated GIF image. Once you have a 16×16 GIF animation, you can use it as a favicon. See code snippet below for how-to add it to your website.

Previously I mentioned that you can use HTML-kit.com to create a favicon. HTML-Kit also offers an extra option to turn your image into a scrolling animation. This might be all you need if your only goal is to try and make your favicon a little more noticeable to users browsing their bookmarks.

Another option is to visit GifAnimations.com if you’re looking for some free animations you can use. Any animated GIF image will work as a favicon as long as it is 16×16 pixels.

To use your animated .gif file as your favicon all you need to do is use the following code on your webpage:

<link href="images/favico.gif" TYPE="image/gif" REL="icon">

Why use an animated favicon?

Since the favicon will be displayed when a user is browsing through their bookmarks, the fact that yours is animated will make it stand out. This will help remind visitors to visit your website more often!

Another good reason for using an animated favicon is for better branding. Having a unique favicon is another way to make your website more memorable. Just make sure it’s not annoying. If it’s animated, it has to be good and fit the theme of your site.

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Bugs are evil blood sucking villains. Remember Y2K? Nothing happened because the world isn’t supposed to end until 2012, but otherwise it would have been apocalypse now. Still, today could be the day your blog is hacked, destroyed, defaced, you name it. A simple glitch in the matrix and you’re dead.

more funny pictures

WTF?
Whether you listen to the Mayans, believe in Skynet or are actively trying to unplug your brain from the Matrix, all predictions of the future are catastrophic. How does this relate to your blog? I predict you will be hacked, lose all your posts, or lose all your comments. Even in the best case scenario you’ll be spending at least one weekend clearing out spam or trying to figure out why a plugin suddenly stopped working. This is not inevitable, it happens because you’re a lazy oaf.

Who are you calling an oaf!
Wordpress is great software, but it has bugs. Plugins are great extensions to Wordpress, but they have even more bugs! All software has bugs. Some are known bugs, some are not. Hackers like bugs; in particular exploiting them… Also working against you is the fact that it’s quite easy to discover information about the software running on your website. If you’re running old versions of Wordpress, some goons will hack you just because they can… Once an exploit is found, goons like to troll around looking for every opportunity to exploit the one and only bug they know they can exploit.

Where can I get bug spray?
Even with bug repellent, sometimes a mosquito still bites. Does that justify rolling around in the woods nude? Maybe if you’re an oaf… Even if you haven’t had any trouble with Wordpress or your blogging software yet, upgrade anyways! Sometimes a bug can be a small annoyance, other times it can be migraine material. Trust me, it sucks when your database becomes corrupted and you lose forum posts, blog posts, comments, etc… Always upgrade your software and plugins when a new version is released to minimize the risk

What do I do if the mosquito still bites?
Upgrading software is not enough. Upgrading minimizes the risk of catastrophe, it does not eliminate it. Always have a contingency plan ready. Not because it sounds cool, but because it could save you time and money. With Wordpress your contingency plan is simple; MAKE BACKUPS. Schedule it. Don’t forget. Do it often.

Should I bother with backups if my software doesn’t have bugs?
There is always a glitch in the application you are running. If it’s a good program that has been tested properly prior to release, then chances are you won’t run into that glitch right away. Maybe you will never run into it. Maybe nobody will. Maybe we’ll have world peace and maybe everyone will win the lottery. Software is never bug free. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise!

Even with the web, it’s survival of the fittest
If you want to live happily ever after, upgrade quickly and backup often. If you don’t, you’ll end up extinct. A chicken can only run around without its head for so long.

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An lolcat is an image, most frequently of a cat, with a humorous and idiosyncratic caption written in a dialect know as lolspeak. Lolcat newbies should begin by taking a picture of a cat and adding a grammatically incorrect message expressing desire for a cheezburger. Need inspiration? Visit icanhascheezburger.com.

STEP 1

The first step towards making your own lolcats is learning lolspeak. This process involves forgetting everything you have learned about language, spelling and grammar. IF SPEAKIN NO GUD HARD 4 HILY EVOLVD BEAN LIEK U, GET UR TRANLASHAM AT SPEAK LOLCAT.

STEP 2

The next step towards a successful career in lolcat development is finding a large supply of cat pictures. For unique images I recommend using your household cat as a specimen. Take pictures of him/her doing something funny or ridiculous, it’s what they do. For more, check out KittenWar.com, FunnyCatPix.com, AmazingCatCollection.com and StuffOnMyCat.com.

STEP 3

The next step is adding text to your image! You have learned lolspeak and have found an endless supply of cat pictures, it’s time to use this to make lolcats! It’s important to use the lol-culturally accepted font or you risk banishment and ridicule from society. The easiest and fastest way to add loltext to an image is by using roflbot.

STEP 4

You made an lolcat, the next step is to share it online! Upload your lolcat to a free image sharing service like Flickr or ImageShack. You can also share your lolcat with friends by posting it on Facebook.

STEP 5

Sit back and relax. Enjoy praise and high fives from friends and strangers who laugh at your lolcat!

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Firefox is a good boy. Like a dog fetching the newspaper, Firefox is always happy to fetch a website. Even better, Firefox never drools on the pages! So, whens the last time you did something nice for Firefox, something to show your appreciation for all it’s hard work and efforts? Offer your Firefox the perfect gift this Valentines, offer Firefox a Firebug!

What the heck is a Firebug?

Firebug is a plugin for Firefox, a must-have tool for any web-developer. With Firebug you can edit and debug HTML, CSS and JavaScript while visiting any website. If you aren’t a web developer, it doesn’t matter. Firefox needs a friend and who better than Firebug! Consider it an investment for the future. Eventually artificial intelligence will experience feelings and emotions - do you really want two fiery creatures mad at you? I don’t think so!

Say I’m a developer, why is Firebug useful?

If you’re not convinced by the cute Firebug name or the bug-like icon, consider this: live editing. As a developer you likely modify your pages, upload them, visit and test your site, find bugs, modify code, upload, lather, rinse and repeat. But why? Why what? Why upload over and over again! Firebug lets you modify the site live until you are completely satisfied. Then upload once. You don’t even need to test, you’ve already done so!

Maybe I like repetitive uploading…

If you are resistant to change, that’s ok. Firebug gives you some other very powerful functions which you don’t already have. Are elements on your page not lining up? CSS problem perhaps? Firebug will visually show you all offsets, margins, borders, etc, so you can easily identify the source of any problems. Find a bug, burn it!

What if I always write perfect CSS? Do I still need Firebug?

Even if you are a CSS guru, you still need Firebug because Firebug has a network activity monitor. Firebug will not only tell you how long your pages take to load, but will break this down between the elements on the page. Can you say super-cool?! Firebug lets you find bottlenecks slowing down your site so that you can optimize, optimize, optimize! Faster is better, Firebug for Firefox rocks.

Is that all Firebug can do?

Firebug is a master of many skills. For example, Firebug also has a debugger which will let you pause Javascript at any-time in order to check variables and state. Do you know any other bugs that can pause Javascript besides exceptions?

Ok, I concede. Firebug is awesome. Where do I download?

Visit http://www.getfirebug.com/ to download Firebug. Do it before Skynet takes over, or your Firefox will soon be setting your socks on fire.

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Gmail is one of my most reliable friends, my best co-worker, my savior from Hotmail… Gmail goes where I go. In the early days I made the mistake of trusting my ISP. I had an email with Videotron. It worked fine until I switched over to Rogers and lost my email subscriptions, ability to retrieve passwords, and even receive emails from my friends. What did I expect when I switched ISP, for them to forward my mail once I stopped paying them? Yeah right, I canceled my service! Why would they care I was moving for University and had no choice but to switch? Why would they help make the move easy and help me stay in touch with my friends? I went through the same thing again when I switched to Sympatico.

I looked to Hotmail for help. It couldn’t do what Outlook could do. Finally, along came Gmail and all my problems were solved. Gmail set me free from greedy ISP’s, set me free to check my email anywhere. Now work wants me to abandon that and return to the mistakes of my past. They want me to use my work email, an email that will change every time I change job. That sucks, but fine. I’m reasonable, I’ll use it for work. But why block Gmail? Wasn’t I hired based on my experience? I’ve worked on a lot of projects, I can access a lot of experience through Gmail. A quick search can bring up many messages containing solutions or links to valuable resources or source code. Gmail is more than a mail service, it’s a tool, it’s my personal assistant.

How is Gmail a Tool?

I’m a developer. As a hobby, I develop software and games and then share them on Looble. I’ve also contributed plugins and modules to many open source projects like Wordpress and Joomla. I learn a lot working with free open source software and tools. I subscribe to many forums where I can find answers to problems. I subscribe to mailing lists which keep me up-to-date with new trends, new technology, new tools. I email myself ideas, links, and other information that I could never remember if I relied on my memory. I can find this information in seconds using Gmail’s powerful search. I can organize thoughts and ideas using labels. I can instantly message a contact using Google Talk and they are usually happy to help me or direct me to a solution, for free.

Blocking Gmail Kills my Productivity

Now when I get stuck at work, I cannot access all the resources I have collected over the years. If I encounter a problem I’ve already solved, rather than access the solution in seconds by searching my mail, I have to solve the problem again or search Google.

I’m also registered to many forums. Forums are a great place to find answers to common problems. They are a great place to find help from experienced people, people from around the world. I can’t reply or post on these forums without an account and I have too many accounts on too many sites to remember all the passwords. If I had access to my Gmail account, I could do a password retrieval. I don’t want to make new accounts for all these sites every time I change job (see paragraph one!). Also, using my account I can instantly find my old posts. I can find the answers to the questions I know have a good answer. With my account I can quickly access valuable information faster and would be significantly more productive. But, my work won’t allow that because maybe I’ll also send a personal email to my mom.

Embrace Technology, Don’t Fight It.

My work wants me to be productive, so they block Gmail. Guess what myself and others did as soon as Gmail was blocked? We spent the next two hours looking for ways to circumvent the ban. Was it productive for the company? No. Was it time well spent? Yes. A way around the ban was found and we were all back to using Gmail. Of course work filters are always improved and Gmail was eventually blocked again. Then what? Another few hours were wasted trying to circumvent it. How is that productive? Several hours will be lost over and over again until finally the filters win. And once the filters do win the real loser is the company because I can still email my mom from my work address or download a virus. I just can’t access tons of useful information and resources that could help me do my job faster and better.

So how do I unblock Gmail?

Filters have gotten pretty good. Most tricks such as using the https address or opening the site with Google translate no longer work. Other methods are not recommend since chances are you don’t want to lose your job.

So what does work? At the time of writing the only legitimate method is to use iGoogle with the Gmail iGoogle Gadget. You’ll then be able to read and reply to email on your iGoogle homepage. Unfortunately you’ll be missing your most powerful features: search, labels and chat. Basically, work filters have made sure that you’ll only be able to use Gmail for personal reasons rather than work related purposes. Good job.

Conclusion

If you’re blocking Gmail you’re treating your employees like enemies, not co-workers. You’re not ensuring they remain productive, you’re doing the opposite. Make your employees happy, make work fun and enjoyable, encourage creativity and collaboration. Then you’ll see productivity go up and turn-over go down. With lower turn-over, imagine how productive your staff can be when they don’t have to spend as much time training new staff.

Don’t punish your employees for mistakes they haven’t made. Reward them for success they haven’t had. Encourage them to succeed, don’t threaten them with the consequences of failure.

Unblock Gmail.

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Have you tried making money online? Have you failed miserably? Have you ever wondered why? Have you convinced yourself there must be a logical explanation, something other than incompetency? If so, you’ve come to the right place!

The problem is simple, chihuahua’s are holding you back. It happens to everybody. Even if you don’t believe it, even if you won’t admit it, the truth is that chihuahua’s are a serious problem when it comes to making money online. Don’t let those little buggers grab you by the tail and hold you back.

Are you sure chihuahua’s are the problem?

Making money online is easy. Anyone can do it. The best part is you can find out exactly how to do it by visiting websites like ProBlogger. So why haven’t you done it? I’ll tell you why… chihuahua’s. Chihuahua’s are holding you back and you need to stop them.

But I don’t own a chihuahua, how can I stop it?

You’re chihuahua can take many forms. For some it’s Facebook, for others it’s Lolcats. For most it’s porn. Whatever shape your chihuahua may take, it’s a distraction and it’s holding you back. It’s time to stop playing with your chihuahua. If I can make money online even after that last sentence, you know there is hope for you…

What if I can’t stop playing with my chihuahua?

You can play with your chihuahua all you want, in fact, I encourage you to do so. But, when you do decide to start working, don’t let the chihuahua in the room. Focus. Don’t lose your focus. Don’t get distracted. Work during work time, play during play time, don’t mix the two. Play time will be more fun and work time will be more productive. It’s a simple idea, but incredibly difficult in practice. Snap out of it. Slap yourself. If you focus 100% of your attention for 5 minutes on one task you’ll be amazed how much you can actually do.

So if I focus, I’ll make money online?

If you focus on writing quality content and continue to do so for a prolonged period of time, then yes, you will start to make money online. How much? I’ve seen my WidgetBucks bring in up to $1.73 in just one month! In fact, within 15 months I should get my first 50$ payment thanks to the 25$ sign up bonus! Don’t quit your day job. Focusing is important, but nothing can guarantee success. Your goal is to improve the odds in your favor. If you don’t let chihuahuas hold you back, maybe you’ll find a way to move forward. Or maybe you’ll still fall flat on your face.

Good luck!

How else can I improve the odds in my favor?

If you clone, you’ll end up alone. When it comes to making money online, if you’re alone, you’re broke. Make sure your website isn’t lonely. Invite folks over. Offer something people want. Offer something that can’t be found elsewhere. Offer a link to Looble.com!

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Want to start you own blog or website? Why? What do you have to offer? If you don’t have a reason and have nothing to offer, don’t do it. I would hate to spend time visiting a useless waste of bandwidth and I would definitely hate to spend time visiting a site that regurgitates the same thing I’ve already read somewhere else. If you don’t want to be a complete and total failure, offer your visitors something unique. Offer your visitors something new. If you clone other websites you’ll end up reading yours alone.

Plz explain, those clones don’t look alone!

Now hold on one minute, the above clones are not alone, they have each other… Yay for them! Their similarities will force them to live a life of tragedy, a life of abandonment, a life half-full, half-empty, half-loved, half-visited, traffic-split.

Enough drama, conclusive evidence plz.

Imagine yourself walking down the street when suddenly out from the bushes jumps the cutest little kitten you have ever seen. What do you do? Some people might run, some might scream, but most would feel their hearts warm, their knees buckle, and their hands overcome with the uncontrollable desire to touch the little critter. After a few purrs and some ear scratching, you remember that important meeting you’re late for! OMG!

As you flee the scene in a hurry suddenly out from the bushes jumps the clone… What do you do? Some people might engage in another mutually gratifying exchange of purrs and rubs, but most would say, “Get lost”, “Outta my way”, “Quit following me”, “You again?”. And so you have conclusive evidence that the clone goes unloved, even though equally cute.

I’m not sure that proves your point…

Oh how you are wrong conversational paragraph title. Imagine that it was not the clone who emerged from the bushes. What if it had been something different, something unique? What if it were a squirrel juggling peanuts? I guarantee you that person would have stopped again to observe the spectacle. You cannot refute this argument. If you clone you’ll end up alone. You don’t have to juggle nuts to succeed, you just have to avoid being a rerun, a repeat, the same show already seen.

Ok fine, so I should be unique… How do I do that?

The best way to be unique is to be yourself. Until human cloning becomes prevalent, that should work. Focus on what you do best, make your site about something you enjoy, something you like.

But, I have no friends, nobody likes me, I’m actually a total ass…

That’s ok! Your failures and inadequacies in real life will be your assets online. You can be boring, arrogant, annoying, you name it! Be yourself and you’ll find your niche. Best of all, you’ll connect with people who share your interests and who might be able to tolerate you despite your shortcomings.

So, what did I learn?

Don’t clone, be yourself, and once your site becomes popular, give all the credit to me.

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Do you want to start your own website or create your own web application? Doing so successfully will take time, hard work and money. To maximize your chances for success and to minimize your chances for failure you will need to invest in the right technology. The right technology is free open source solutions. When it comes to web development, that means working with the dynamic duo, two old friends, fully capable, PHP and MySQL.

PHP is a widely-used general-purpose scripting language that is especially suited for Web development and can be embedded into HTML. - www.php.net

But, but, what about ASP.NET (C#/VB.NET) and JSP?

I’m not going to say PHP is a better programming language than VB.NET, C# or JSP. I’m not going to say it’s faster, more robust, or more reliable. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. PHP is however the most affordable and widely supported. But wait… JSP is free too isn’t it? Perhaps it is, but good luck finding affordable web hosting for your JSP website. So why not ASP.NET? Don’t even consider using it. Microsoft might make VB.NET or C# sound nice, but its proprietary and expensive. You should always support open source solutions whenever possible.

Great, I’ve decided to use PHP, now what?

You could open up Notepad and start coding away or you could read some PHP tutorials that you’ll quickly forget and never use. Either way you’ll accomplish nothing and probably quit before you’ve done anything useful. Tutorials are only good if you have a problem. Don’t read them for fun under the false pretext you might learn something. You won’t. When you’re stuck, they can help you, but you won’t learn anything until you go get yourself stuck. That’s also why you shouldn’t just start coding. You don’t know anything yet, you can’t possibly make anything useful, and so you’ll end up reading tutorials for beginners, get discouraged by your own incompetence, and buy Visual Studio because you can drag and drop buttons onto the screen… wow!

Ummm… so what do I do then?

You do something useful right from the get-go. You install some free open source PHP software on your web server like Wordpress, phpBB, Joomla, Drupal, or php-Nuke. These are quality web applications and your key to learning PHP. Pick one you like. I suggest Wordpress because that’s what runs this site and because most people interested in web development all feel the need to have their own blog anyways.

Once you have your PHP powered site up and running, start to modify it. Edit the theme to see how PHP is mixed with HTML. Make new plugins or modules to learn how to code with PHP. If you get stuck, these open source projects have forums where you can get support or find answers to common questions. There are usually experienced users who will be happy to help you and to test your code. Not only are you working on an application that is likely useful to you, but you are working on mods that can be useful to others. You can get feedback, suggestions and comments right away even as a beginner. Being part of a community as a beginner will give you the support you need to succeed. Working on something useful from the beginning will give you the motivation to continue.

But I really need a tutorial, plz plz plz!

If jumping right in and swimming with the sharks seems a little too over-whelming, you may prefer getting started with this introductory tutorial. Personally, I’d prefer to swim with sharks rather than get eaten by them, but it’s your choice…

What about MySQL, PHP’s partner in crime?

MySQL is a free open source database system. All useful web applications require a database in order to store information. MySQL is the one you will want to use. Using MySQL will require learning SQL syntax. Joomla, PHP-Nuke, phpBB and Wordpress all use MySQL. Examine their code, see how they interact with the database and try making modifications. Add new tables or fields to the database and have your website display them. Use new tables to store information for your new PHP plugin, etc… Most web hosting companies will have multiple MySQL databases available for you. That’s why you invested in PHP and MySQL for your projects, because it’s the most widely supported when it comes time to putting your application online.

Plz, plz, just one tutorial for MySQL…!

Here is a good PHP & MySQL Tutorial. In particular, it’s useful if you plan to run PHP and MySQL locally rather than immediately on an already configured web server. Let me again emphasize, your best bet is to just get started playing in the code. When you get stuck, use your good friend Google to look up the answer or post your question on the appropriate forums for the project you are working on. Tutorials are your enemy until you need them. Reading tutorials without having an immediate use for their contents is just another form of procrastination.

So I need a web-host?

If you’re using PHP and MySQL, the only thing that will actually cost you money is your web hosting. Your web hosting will provide you with online storage space as well as a domain name, the internet address used to access your site. I recommend you sign up with Host Gator. Host Gator is not only a hosting company, it is also a community. They have an active forum where you can discuss issues directly with staff members to resolve any problems you might encounter.

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Wait one minute… what the heck is wRisk? How can taking over the world lead to an open source Battle City?

wRisk is a Java version of the classic game of world domination, Risk. Sounds cool! It is. But, don’t pat us loobles on the back, thank Yura.net, developers of the Open Source Domination project. Pay them a visit and shake their virtual hands. Yes, we stole their code and renamed it wRisk. This may make us evil blood sucking leeches, but that is the beauty of open source. Today we are villains, but tomorrow we are heroes when we give back to the project!

What does this have to do with Battle City? At this point, absolutely nothing! However, take note that we are far more than evil leeches; we are loobles. We think above, we go beyond, we scheme and we code. Enter Ggz.

Ggz is an online gaming center based on free open source software. It has an integrated player ranking system, spectator mode and a surrounding chat system. In a nutshell, it’s a portal, a metaserver. Our goal? If someone starts a multiplayer game of wRisk/Domination, that game is then listed in the central portal. That would be awesome wouldn’t it? Of course it would. Lonely nights playing by yourself would be a thing of the past.

How does this help Battle City? Think about it. If ggz works with wRisk, we can try it with Battle City. Anybody could host their own Battle City server with their own maps and customizations. All servers would talk back to the metaserver, stats would be kept in the central database. There could be a newbie server, classic server, duel server, league server. There could be maps with only two CC’s or maps where the Mayor drops the Command Center anywhere…

Why don’t we let people host their own Battle City servers now? Because it would fragment the already small community. With the portal, all players would remain connected. All servers would be listed in the portal. It would be like the meeting room, except instead of a city list, you would have a server list. Joining a server would be like joining a game, you would immediately enter as a spectator and have the option to join a team or start your own.

It’s a dream, it’s a big dream, but it starts right here, right now, taking over the world with wRisk.

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Bookmark this page, more quotes are added weekly!

Those who laugh last think slowest

Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door

Save a tree, eat a beaver! Hurray for Earth Day!

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher

Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway

You never learn anything by doing it right

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege

Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand

In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done

Do you believe in love at first sight or do i have to walk by again?

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong

I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met

Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go

Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes

I can resist everything except temptation

a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother

A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Every calendar’s days are numbered

A backward poet writes inverse

Energizer Bunny arrested — charged with battery…

Dijon vu — the same mustard as before

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds

Without geometry, life is pointless

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A flat minor

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large

For more quotes, follow me on Twitter.